Flally
I finally succumbed to my friend’s advances only to find that at the moment of truth, he let me down. Is it my fault? It was so embarrassing I feel like never seeing him again. Help! Ivana Cockburn, Palmers Island
Magenta says: relax Ivana, it’s not all about you. This is a big issue that is contemplated at men’s groups, women’s lunches and in psychologists’ offices. Men are not sex machines except, of course, for James Brown. And if they are, then that’s a worry in itself.
Let me shed some light by sharing some of Leonardo da Vinci’s writing titled “About the Penis”:
‘This confers with the human intelligence and sometimes has intelligence of itself, and alough the will of the man desires to stimulate it, it remains obstinate and takes its own course, and moving sometimes of itself without license or thought by the man, whether he is sleeping or waking, it does what it desires. Often the man is asleep, and it is awake, and many times the man is awake, and it is asleep. Many times, a man wishes it practice and it does not wish to, many times it wishes to and the man forbids. It seems, therefore, that this creature has often life and intelligence separate from man.’
Us women don’t understand the strange, fickle ways of the male member. Probably men don’t either. It’s all a mystery. We just expect it to work when we want it to. Imagine being in the man’s shoes (well, pants) and finally seducing his Goddess, having to prove himself, to anticipate and please her expectations; his hopes and fears out there on display. No wonder some men experience flally on their first try with a new partner.
Take it as a compliment, be flattered, be compassionate, be understanding and give him another go. Not only may you be pleasantly surprised, but he will love you even more and hopefully treat you with the same respect when you are temporarily unavailable.
‘A good man is hard to find and a hard man is good to find.’ Mae West
Norm says: it would seem the stereotypical traits of women being caring and nurturing have their limits when it comes to this problem. If you feel let down and embarrassed, imagine how the hell he feels. Ivana, what you have to understand is that although a man and his schwanz are conjoined, they often act independently of each other.
Try to imagine, if you will, that a man and his penis are like our Australian parliament. You have the government, and a bunch of independents. Your man, in this case, the government, has taken a fancy to you, but the independent er, member, has spoken. And the penis says ‘no’.
It might have a head with no brain and an eye that can’t see, but his John Thomas, rightly or wrongly, thinks there’s something fishy about you and like a good penis (politician) should, it’s simply looking out for its owner’s interests.
Nonetheless if you’re both willing to give it another try, and drop the ego, I suggest you err…pull the honourable member aside and have a frank conversation with it and see if you can’t bring it around.
If all else fails, you might need to take him to the doctor, put him up on the hoist and see if he’s got a gearbox problem.
Did you hear about the burglary at the Viagra factory? Police are looking for three hardened criminals.